Family Friday: How to have Joy in your marriage!

Used with permission from Dan Carr, Jr.

I. Jesus
Keep Jesus first in everything! One may say, “If Jesus is first in (your spouse’s name) life, then he will not have time for me or the children.” The closer you draw near to Jesus, the better spouse you will become. The Bible says in I John 4:7, “Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God…”. It is important for you to understand that the closer you get to God, the more His love can flow through you.

A. Keep Him first by praying daily.
Use a journal and create a prayer list to write down needs in the lives of your spouse, children, friends, and coworkers. Be specific in your prayer. Do not just make a general prayer such as, “God be with my wife/husband today.” Being very specific in your prayer will only be possible with the help of a prayer list.

B. Keep Him first by reading your Bible daily.
Have a Bible reading schedule that you live by. I personally like to read a Proverb a day, but I also read Romans 6 and I Corinthians 13 every day as well. I believe that reading these chapters daily will help me stay close to God in addition to my relationship with my wife. Romans 6 helps me to acknowledge sin in my own life that can hinder a sweet relationship, and I Corinthians 13 teaches me how to love my wife unconditionally.

C. Keep Him first by meditating on His Word.
“This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.” Joshua 1:8 KJV

If you are going to be a success in your marriage, you must meditate on God’s Word. Whatever your weakness may be, search for a Scripture verse that corresponds with that weakness; therefore, enabling you to meditate on God’s Word throughout the day to help you overcome your weakness.

“Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.”    1 John 4:4 KJV

II. Others
“Life is not about you: it is about others.” If we keep that our motto we will be okay, but so many people today are self-centered, and life is all about them. As a result, we make life miserable for everyone around us. I have to be careful when I am on a date with my wife that I do not get caught up with work and everything else I have going on in my life. I do not want to fail at making her feel special and important. It is so easy in today’s busy world we live in to neglect those who are the most important to us.

Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.” Philippians 2:3-4 KJV

III. Yield

I know that in my outline you may have been expecting me to use the word, “YOU” as my last point, as so often you see in the acrostic, “JOY,” but I purposefully chose the word, “YIELD.” Here, I am not referring to the one definition of yield which means to give in, or allow someone to have their way; nevertheless, I am referring to the another meaning of the word yield which means produce or provide. The Bible says,

“But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.” 1 Timothy 5:8

It is our responsibility as a mate to provide for one another. Not only should we be providing food and clothes and other essentials of life, but we should be providing an environment where there is joy and peace and gentleness. We should desire a home where the fruits of the Spirit are alive and thriving. Very sadly, so many homes are full of strife, bitterness, and envy which are the works of the flesh. Our home should be different!

“This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would. But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.”  Galatians 5:16-23 KJV

I cannot stress the importance of walking with God. When the Holy Spirit is controlling you, He will control every word, every action, and every thought. Your spouse will benefit greatly as well as your children and those around you.

I hope this blog has been a blessing. I will continue to post and update lessons that can help you become a better spouse as well as a better father and mother, in order to help others benefit from having known you.