Family Friday: Having Hope When All Seems Hopeless - Part 2

Terri Cannon

Pastor's Wife

Hope Baptist Church

Bettendorf, IA

Having Hope When All Seems Hopeless

It is in our nature to see the bad. When all seems hopeless, you have to force yourself to look away, especially if the bad is something that you cannot control. Illness can't be controlled. The actions of others can't be controlled. Natural disasters can't be controlled. When those things are overwhelming you, you must find the good and quit dwelling on the bad.
A wise woman taught me to imagine a hedge around myself, don’t look at the gap—look at the protection!
Between December of 2006 and September of 2007, I spent 39 days in the hospital. I was very ill and experienced multiple complications from my surgeries and my treatments. I couldn't control that. Instead of despairing, I learned to be thankful for the marvelous medical treatment that I had access to. If I had not had that care, I certainly would have died. Because I did not dwell on the illness, I laughed my way through the trial.

Two weeks ago, I again found myself hearing the doctors tell me that I could die. But again, I was in a fantastic hospital and as the mother of three young boys— I could sleep whenever I wanted! 
And today, I’m almost fully recovered. If the bad is in the past, keep it there!
I know so many people who suffer because they can't get over the past. You cannot do anything to change what has already happened. If you continually "play the video" in your mind, you will never undo the past, you will only re-live the pain. Put the past where it belongs. Look to the Lord and the future. If you are running a race and looking backwards, you are sure to fall. "Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God."
Hebrews 12:1-2

Another key to keeping hope when all seems hopeless is to remind yourself constantly that God loves you. Look for things to remind you. I love ladybugs. I decided a long time ago that every time I see a ladybug, I would remind myself that God loves me. Then, I surrounded myself with ladybugs. There is not a room in my house that does not have at least one ladybug in it. My little grandson knows about my ladybugs and every time he finds one, he runs to me to tell me about it. And all those ladybugs around me make it impossible for me to forget that God loves me. There is so much hope in that one thought. I have friends who have chosen redbirds, or hummingbirds, or even sand to remind themselves that God loves them. Try it! But above all, remember that God loves you! "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."
John 3:16

"Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins."
I John 4:10

"But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us,"
Ephesians 2:4

Okay, quick review, what are the first 5 things to remember when all seems hopeless?
* It’s okay to cry.
* Keep God real.
* Remind yourself of the good.
* Focus on the good—not the bad.
* Look for something everyday to remind you God loves you. 

And finally Look to the Future!
Remember, this too shall come to pass. Believe me, I know how hard it is to look ahead when the present is so overwhelming. I have been through trials that I was sure would never end, and yet, the sun came up the next morning and I moved on. Know that God is doing a work in you for a purpose. “Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:”
Philippians 1:6 
“For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.”
Philippians 2:13

You may not know this side of heaven what that purpose is, but He is working. Pillow your head tonight with the assurance that the sun will rise in the morning and you will move forward.

So, can you name the six things? Drill them into your head. Trials will come. At some point, all will seem hopeless. 

* It’s okay to cry.
* Keep God real.
* Remind yourself of the good.
* Focus on the good—not the bad.
* Look for something every day to remind you God loves you.
* Look to the future. 

I had no idea why God has let me suffer the things I have suffered. There are some things we will never know. But I do know that I have been able to comfort others. And I can tell you there IS hope when everything seems hopeless. "I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD."
Psalm 27:13-14

Teen Tuesday: Does God care what we wear? Part 3

In our last two articles we began considering the question, “Does God care what we wear?” Again, so many responded positively to these articles! In a day when sloppier and sleezier is finding its way into the church and the Christian home, may we reconsider clear biblical principles and transfer them to our children. God gives us many good reasons to carefully choose our dress and to set guidelines for how we “appear.” The first six reasons were as follows:

1. To please the Lord Jesus Christ and honor Him above all. 2. To submit to the biblical principle of modesty. 3. To submit to the biblical principle of appropriateness and identify with godliness. 4. To promote an environment of purity and spiritual growth. 5. To honor the convictions of spiritual authorities. 6. To give account to the Lord with joy. Let’s consider four final principles to choosing “what we wear” and why to have a student ministry dress standard.

7. To promote a spirit of maturity. Maturity isn’t an age, it is the acceptance of responsibility. The young people we influence are quickly becoming adults, and no responsible adult gets to dress the way they want all the time! We accept given boundaries in a multitude of environments—because we take responsibility seriously.

When we let kids wear whatever they want, we are teaching them to be self-centered—to believe that the world revolves around them. The sooner I can get our teens over their fashion-conscious insecurities, the more mature and responsible they will become. First Corinthians 13:11, “When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.”

It is possible to help this generation of young people understand what it means to be mature examples. In fact, this is what God commands in 1 Timothy 4:12, “Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.”

8. To exemplify a distinct lifestyle not conformed to the world. Simply put, the attitude that says, “I can wear what I want when I want and nobody can tell me different” is not a spiritual life—it’s a carnal life. This is a life conformed, not transformed. Ephesians 5:8, “For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light.” Romans 12:2, “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”

I still believe that God intend for us to walk “out of step” with the world. This simply isn’t the case for modern Christendom. Most Christians are trying to blend in as best as they can with the world’s styles. Why do we care what the world thinks more than what the Lord desires? God instructs us in Galatians that, even as we are in Christ, we are also to put on Christ. Most Christians are more than happy to be in Christ, but far fewer really desire to put on Christ.

9. To protect the thoughts and innocence of young men and young ladies. No parent would want young men lusting after your daughter. No parent would want a son tempted at a youth function. Unfortunately, our sons will most likely see more inappropriate clothing by accident during their teens years than their grandfathers could have looked for in a lifetime.

For this reason, I contend that a church youth group should be a “spiritually-safe” environment for young people. When we teach modesty to young women, we are teaching them to value themselves as God does and to save themselves for marriage. And we are protecting the hearts and minds of young men—teaching them to guard their thoughts. When we teach appropriateness to young men, we are teaching them responsibility and respect toward the Lord and others.

Second Timothy 2:22, “Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” Proverbs 4:23, “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.”

10. To be a clear witness of the Gospel. You would have to take several dozen teenagers to public places on a regular basis to understand this one. When our teenagers pile out of a church bus in a McDonalds parking lot, or stand in line together at a theme park—they are noticed. And when they are dressed sharp—they flat out SHINE!

Not long ago, we had a group of one-hundred senior-highers at an In-N-Out Burger (a Southern California favorite). As our group spent forty-five minutes enjoying food and fellowship, they were dressed sharp, they acted respectfully, and they were kind to others in the restaurant. (For instance, our teens allow other people to take the front of the line whenever our entire group is in line at a restaurant.) Toward the end of our visit, two adults approached me and asked where these “wonderful students” were from. I happily said, “Lancaster Baptist Church”—to which they replied, “Well, this sure gives us hope for the next generation! What a great group of young people!”

I was so thankful for the testimony that the Lord allowed us to have at that moment. Sadly, I’ve seen some youth groups that were in no way different from any other group of teens in secular America. Why can’t we remember that man always looks on the outward appearance—1 Samuel 16:7? Jesus taught us in Matthew 5:16, “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”

So there you have them—ten principles to validate that God does care what we wear. I pray you will consider them and teach them. Teens want to know “why.” They won’t always understand all of our rules, but this is one area where they are more than capable of connecting the dots—if we present them reasonably and biblically. Everybody knows that dress matters. It’s really just a matter of submitting our selfish wills to God and living to please Him first.

These same principles would apply to hairstyles, make-up, manners and other areas of outward conduct as well. Perhaps as you read these principles you thought, “Well, that’s just not ME. I have to be ME.” May I gently encourage you to give up that self-centered thought process. I figured out a long time ago that “being myself” was a losing proposition—and a very limiting one. The winning life is really about surrendering your identity fully to Jesus Christ.

Just trust the Lord and His Word. If you are a spiritual leader, lead your group in the right direction. Give clear biblical direction and unashamedly lead the way. If you’re a teenager—value yourself, your testimony, and your future enough to dress for God’s glory. Set aside your own preferences or self-centered thinking. Decide to dress in a way that absolutely pleases the Lord and shows respect for Him in every environment.

As I close, I would like to contextualize everything I’ve stated earlier with this final thought. Encouraging Christians to dress to honor the Lord is not about legalism or arrogance. We (as a youth group) are not “Gestapo” about this. We don’t look down on someone who doesn’t dress perfectly to our standard. We are compassionate towards them. Every week, we welcome hundreds of teens to our church that don’t dress the way we wish they would. Yet we still love them, teach them, and minister to them.

We just don’t buy into the argument that successful youth ministry requires rock music, grunge dress, and freakishly immature youth pastors. In fact, the youth groups that I see with that philosophy are failing miserably at life change. Judging by the product—NO THANKS!

As you raise the bar in the area, please do so with tenderness and compassion. Teach the truth with love and patience. Teach your teens that decent dress doesn’t produce a right heart—it should reflect one! Christ-honoring dress should be the product of a pure heart, not the white-washed exterior of a proud one.

Finally, I haven’t tried to define your standard. That’s up to you, the Lord, and His Word. It’s up to your authorities. If your standard isn’t mine, I’m not accountable for that. My standard doesn’t define spirituality, it merely defines what God has put on my heart for the environments and people that I lead and influence. You must define your standard by God’s leading, and be prepared to answer to Him for it. One final story and we’re done.

Not long ago I was with my family strolling through an open shopping area when we happened upon a new bowling alley that served lunch to your lane. We needed lunch and bowling sounded fun, so a few moments later, we were bowling, eating, and making some great memories. It wasn’t until we were leaving that I noticed a large sign at the entrance explaining the dress code. I read this sign in disbelief.

The rules were as follows: No sweatshirts or sports jerseys, no jogging pants or jumpsuits, no MC colors, no hats or headgear, no baggy clothing, all clothing must be neat and clean, no long shorts, no boots, no long or baggy T-shirts, no sleeveless shirts, and no solid color T-shirts. Wow! All that just for bowling!

In closing, think about that bowling alley. Somebody there really respects that environment. When it comes to dress—do you care as much about honoring the Lord as they do about bowling? 

·         BY CARYSCHMIDT – used with permission