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Friday, August 21, 2015

Family Friday: Thankful for the Darkness




One year ago today I received a phone call from a surgeon and heard the words "you have cancer." It was two days before the second birthday of my baby boy. It was a few days before my oldest daughter started kindergarten. I was sick and I was scared. Jesus and I had talked about this possible diagnosis, and when the confirmation came that this was where He was leading me I "drew near unto the thick darkness where God was." The journey got darker a few weeks later when we learned that the cancer had metastasized to other areas in my body...

Today, I am thankful for the darkness. It has taught me many things. In the darkness, the things that are seen do not matter. A journey in the darkness is about the heart. A journey in the darkness is about the renewing of your mind. A journey in the darkness teaches one to be like a little child - helpless and in great dependence upon The One Who is leading them. A journey in the darkness is lonely. But the comfort and peace that is available to the one who is struggling in darkness is incomprehensible and entirely indescribable. And while I don't know where exactly this journey is taking me, I know now that the person that I was is not who I wanted to be and not who Jesus wanted me to be and that the person that He is making me is no longer tangled up in the shackles of those things which are seen but is far more careful to see that the "words of my mouth and the meditations of my HEART be acceptable" to Him.

"Mrs. Ludwick, we got your results back and all of your levels are excellent. We are no longer concerned with our initial findings. There is no evidence to indicate the presence of cancer in your body. We will look at your full body scan in November, but no further tests are needed at this time. Take care."

ANYBODY WANNA SHOUT TO THE LORD WITH ME?!?!?!

I don't have cancer anymore!!!!

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