Rules of Engagement
Disagreements happen. We call them different things such as arguments, fights, discussions, etc., but no one can agree with everyone else all of the time. As much as we want to get along, we are going to disagree with someone at some point. Unfortunately, this seems to be normal in some households. Husbands and wives are not going to agree on everything; God made them different! This does not mean that spouses must argue, even when they disagree. My husband and I came up with “argument rules” when we were dating. They started as a joke, but in reality these rules are Godly principles that will greatly help your relationship.
- Do not yell. Proverbs 15:1
- Do not bring up past mistakes. Hebrews 8:12, Proverbs 19:11
- Do not leave the discussion feeling angry or upset. Sometimes we must “table” a conversation due to timing or circumstances; if that happens, make sure you are not staying angry because the matter is not resolved. Ephesians 4:26
- Do not argue in front of other people, especially your children. Parents should always present a united front before their children. Arguing should be done in private. Yes, others will know we disagree sometimes, but we should not argue in front of them. Proverbs 29:11
- Do not expect perfection from each other. I Peter 4:8
There will always be things on which husbands and wives do not agree, but that does not make it acceptable to have a fight with each other! When no solution seems to be reached during an argument, then stop and pray together. It is difficult to fight with someone if you are praying with them! This is not an exhaustive list of the correct way to handle disagreements, but it surely has been a help to my marriage.