Family Friday: Building your house with Wisdom

Proverbs 24:3 “Through wisdom is an house builded;and by understanding it is established:”

When the Psalmist speaks of wisdom, he is speaking of wisdom that comes from God, through God’s Word. Through this wisdom a house is built. The house is describing a home, a family, a household. The word builded means to “begin to build”.  It means to start the family properly. When we think of this passage as an actual structure, it means to foundationally prepare to build with the right materials, the right plans, and the right contractor. It means further to begin and finish the structure. Once this is done this leads us to the next phrase, “and by understanding it is established.”  Understanding means, discretion, reason, skillfulness understanding, wisdom. It means that wisdom continues to strengthen and build the house but with the added ingredient of skillful reason and discretion. In family relationships, such a marriage or child rearing it means to communicate wisdom with reason and discretion. Finally, God says that through understanding this home, this family, this marriage is established and established means it will stand, it will last, it will be perfected.

Marriages and families start but many do not last. The answer is simple yet profound. It must start in wisdom, wisdom is found in the Word of God and from the teaching and preaching of the Word of God by wise men. This is why a Bible preaching church is so important for it is a place of wisdom and wisdom is absolute when we begin our home and marriage. After we begin, if our home and marriage is to last, we must get understanding. Psalm 119:104 “Through thy precepts I get understanding:.”  Understanding comes as we continue in the Word of God, as we continue learning and growing through the preaching of the Word of God. Understanding grows in us as we seek wisdom and understanding and as we grow in God’s precepts. Understanding grows as we unselfishly begin to live for others more than ourselves. So long as understanding, (communication with discretion) continues in the home the family will continue to last. Communication is not generic conversation but sincere interaction with wisdom, reason and discretion. It is important what we say, but it is also important how we say it. I have often said that a key factor in the way our 6 daughters turned out was their mom staying up late with them at night. They would all seven sit in one bedroom and talk to late hours. This was a time that they could unload everything. These late hour conversations were communication with wisdom and discretion. Another key principle we tried to live by, was, if they ever open up, then let them talk and do not interrupt or correct. If you correct them they will clam up and stop talking, so while they are talking let them share their heart. Now this is not critical or rebellious talk against the parent but just unloading their hearts about issues at school, friends, frustrations, dreams, etc.

A principle for the marriage that helps conversation is learning the art of asking questions. Men normally are not creative conversationalists, but if the wife will ask him questions, like, “how did you figure that out” or “what did you have to do to fix that. “ Artful questions with a little praise mixed in,will often pull out conversation from the quietest of men.

May we all grow in wisdom and understanding that our homes will stand through a lifetime.